Meredith Vieira considered the fidgety man in front of her. His skin was the color of an oompa-loompa, and his hair ...

"Meredith!" said Donald Trump, snapping the TV host back to the harsh reality of the studio and the crazy man in front of her.

"Yes?"

"Meredith Vieira!" said Donald again, even louder this time.

"Yes, what is it, Donald?"

Donald looked confused. "What is what?"

"Why were you shouting my name?"

"Oh." Donald smiled and petted his hair, which had begun to make unnerving mewling sounds 20 minutes ago. "Nothing, I was just practicing saying your name." He demonstrated. "Meredith! Meredith! Excuse me! Meredith! Excuse me, excuse me!"

"I haven't said anything ..."

"EXCUSE ME, MEREDITH, I have had very smart people tell me Obama was not born in this country!"

Meredith closed her eyes, counted to 10, and then opened them again. "What?"

"I am a very smart man! People will vote for me for president because of common sense, and also because of my very popular TV show, which I will not leave to run for president."

"Donald, the cameras aren't even rolling right now," Meredith said, pointing to the abandoned posts of the operators..