Man Beats Wife, Judge Orders Him to Take Her Out to Red Lobster and the Bowling Alley

since when is raising your hand at a woman beating one up?

???? According to the article,

Bray's wife claims that her husband shoved her against a sofa and grabbed her neck. 

That's a bit more than raising his hand at his wife, but as my mother taught me, "just let a man know that if he ever raises his hand at you, he'll pull back a bloody stump!" And I've never hand to make good on that.

That's a bit more than raising his hand at his wife, but as my mother taught me, "just let a man know that if he everraises his hand at you, he'll pull back a bloody stump!" And I've never hand to make good on that.

While I agree that a man should never abuse a woman- whether it be his wife or any other- we do not know all the details of this incident. Who is to say that the wife did not push him, or slap him first which then elicited a response from him? Again, the man should not have done this to his wife, but he could have been reacting to something she did to him.

Again, the man should not have done this to his wife, but he could have been reacting to something she did to him.

It's really quite simple. If she used force against him, then he should have walked away rather than responding with force. You are attempting to justify his actions.

It's really quite simple. If she used force against him, then he should have walked away rather than responding with force. You are attempting to justify his actions.

Really? Have you never been involved in an argument? What if the wife pushed him against the wall, and would not let him walk away? What is he supposed to do in that case, if he is cornered? Look I am not saying that is definitely what happened, but with the evidence we have, we do not know that is not what happened. The only justification I am providing is if he did not initiate the physicality of the confrontation, if he did initiate it, he is completely in the wrong. Are you saying that a man is never justified in defending himself if a woman assaults him?

Have you never been involved in an argument? What if the wife pushed him against the wall, and would not let him walk away? What is he supposed to do in that case, if he is cornered?

Yes, I have been involved in arguments; no, I have not engaged in physical fights with significant others.

But get real! You are still trying to justify his phyical attack with all kinds of crazy scenarios.

Who is to say that the wife did not push him, or slap him first which then elicited a response from him? Again, the man should not have done this to his wife, but he could have been reacting to something she did to him.

These questions offend the sensibilities but I will bite. Obviously the wife did not hit the abuser first because the judge would have thrown the book at her, lliterally and figuratively. Attempting to excuse the behavior of the abuser by blaming the victim is pathetic. The judge ruling speaks volumes about his lack of concern for victims of violence; he made a mockery out of his own court. He probably hits his wife and then takes her to red lobster only to hit her again and again.

But get real! You are still trying to justify his phyical attack with all kinds of crazy scenarios.

Get the @!$%# out. Look at this quote that I said:

The only justification I am providing is if he did not initiate the physicality of the confrontation, if he did initiate it, he is completely in the wrong.

Is that offering justification? When I denounced what he did if he was the one who initiated it? Is it really a crazy scenario to imagine his wife may have cornered him? Look, we only know what was presented in the article, which is not a whole lot. If you have other facts about the story I would be happy to hear them.

These questions offend the sensibilities but I will bite.

Asking whether it is possible she initiated the physical nature of the argument offends your sensibilities? Because it is not at all possible that she did?

Obviously the wife did not hit the abuser first because the judge would have thrown the book at her, lliterally and figuratively.

Well obviously /sarc. Not like we don't know all the facts of the situation, or that men are much less likely to report abuse/assault coming from women right?

Attempting to excuse the behavior of the abuser by blaming the victim is pathetic.

Please refer to my response to Happily in this comment.

The judge ruling speaks volumes about his lack of concern for victims of violence; he made a mockery out of his own court.

Or maybe it speaks to the fact that there could be more to this story than is reported in the news... Who the @!$%# knows, I don't, do you?

He probably hits his wife and then takes her to red lobster only to hit her again and again.

And then we proceed into libel. Wonderful.

long story short - there was no violence - woman got to eat out and enjoy a night with her SO. judge has better things to do but not all of you out there still talking about it.

woman got to eat out and enjoy a night with her SO

Whatever makes you think a person would enjoy having dinner with someone who physically abused her? And yes, his actions were physical abuse. I'd like the assh*le SO who mistreated this woman and the dumb ass judge who suggested the date to spend some time with the boys in the general population of the nearest prison.

happily in blue please reread the article - it clearly states she has reconciled with him and does not wish any court action to be taken - whether that is right or wrong is hardly for you to decide.

I did read the article and no, it doesn't say she reconciled with him. It says the judge ordered the "date." Big difference and certainly lets the public know that the judge knows nothing about domestic violence, nor does anyone who supports this.

Then do a little research for yourself. FFS it is not freaking hard. Google is your friend.

This story doesn't sound as outrageous as first appears. There was no beating.

I agree that the writer was incredibly biased, but...

Do you honestly think a that a woman who was pushed and grabbed by the neck should then go out on a date with the man that used force against her?

Do you honestly think a that a woman who was pushed and grabbed by the neck should then go out on a date with the man that used force against her?

She made the choice to forgive him and continue living together as husband and wife before the trial, maybe it was not a horrible ruling. Considering it is not an ongoing problem, the low level of violence and the wife agreeing with the sentence it seems reasonable. I'm not sure sending him to prison and having the wife become homeless would of been a better ending to this story.

I'm not rich but I can afford much better food than Red Lobster can provide. But hey, if you like your seafood like you like your women (fast and tasteless) more power to ya.

But hey, if you like your seafood like you like your women (fast and tasteless) more power to ya.

heh heh, nice little laugh this morning, thanks!

The judge asked her where she likes to eat and what she likes to do. Her response was Red Lobster and bowling. So the judge ordered him to take her where SHE likes to go - not what the judge likes.

Some of you may disagree but - I think the judge did a nice thing here. Every marriage has its ups and downs, granted it should never turn violent. The judge after asking the wife if she felt safe, decided rather than put this guy into the system and potentially ruin both of their lives with huge court costs, probation & fees, he figured a nice date night out for them would do more to repair their relationship than putting him in jail for a few days.

I read another article where the judge actually ordered them to go to marriage counceling within a week after their date night.

Timmmmaaay,

Im a conservative. I don't have any idea where you'd come up with the idea I'm a liberal.

And yes, life is good.

You live in an area with a world famous fish market. I'd start there and learn to cook.

Man you really need to learn to relaxe and look at the lighter side of life. All this anger is gonna kill ya. I was joking with my first post and just poking you for making an angry reply to my first post. In the words of Nacho Libre " take it eeeeeeeeeasy"'

I do understand why you'd be grouchy living in rain and crappy weather most of the time. Come to Ohio, the sun shines here.

but Connie - he didn't put his hands on her any different then he does in his daily life. You dont touch your husband? Point is, she was never in any harm and the judge recognized that.

blockquote>

He shoved her to the sofa and put his hand around her neck. If the husband does that in "daily life" he a repeat abuser, or you have a sick view of what is a normal relationship.

Point is, she was never in any harm and the judge recognized that.

Interesting that two men who are not the victims of this physical abuse are so quick to justify and protect the actions of the abuser.

he didn't put his hands on her any different then he does in his daily life

Bray's wife claims that her husband shoved her against a sofa and grabbed her neck. 

Then the perpetrator is a repeat abuser or you have a pretty sick view of what constitutes "daily life" in a relationship.

she was never in any harm and the judge recognized that

It's sad that two men condone such behavior toward a woman.

its sad you try to make everything into a big spectacle. so what he shoved her... waaaaaa. can't even prove that cause there is no marks - no harm no foul.

Geez, I feel bad for any woman in your life. It's okay to abuse if you don't leave a mark???
Talk about making a spectacle of one's self--you've revealed yourself as someone who thinks abuse is acceptable.

and you revealed yourself as one that overreacts to life. get a grip grow up and let the woman live in peace.

and you revealed yourself as one that overreacts to life. get a grip grow up and let the woman live in peace.

How foolish! None of the opinions expressed here have any effect on how this woman will continue her life.

As for "growing up," take your own suggestion. You are talking like an adult bully and we know that those types are deficient; they bully to make up for their inadequacies. You've earned my "Ignore this Author" click so there will be no further communication with you.

I tend to block out everybody that thinks differently then me.. oh wait I'm not an elitist.